So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
