grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
