Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Randomize
