Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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