and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
