i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
