just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
