if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize
