Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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