STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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