I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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