your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Randomize
