Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
