All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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