Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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