But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
