Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
