While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
