Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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