I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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