Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
