He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
