I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Can I color on your dick again?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
