im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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