With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
