so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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