I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
So squirting runs in the family.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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