I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
