At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
