good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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