ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
