census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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