Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
