So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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