wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
