If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Holy shit dude........stairs
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
