You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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