He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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