3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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