i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
