hell yes lets make some ravioli
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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