I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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