Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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