You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Randomize
