It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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