what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
People in love make me want to vomit
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
