I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize