you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Shame is for Republicans.
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