He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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