All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
