she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
ttyl tear gas
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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