i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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