Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
